


autumn leaves

by jjokkiri



Series: monsta x bingo (winter 2018) [4]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Monsta X Bingo, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Relationship, and adorable, changkyun is poetic, minhyuk's cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 02:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14095551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjokkiri/pseuds/jjokkiri
Summary: Changkyun helps Minhyuk through a breakup, and Minhyuk falls in love with him the following autumn. And he tries to confess his heart when spring blossoms flowers across the streets.





	autumn leaves

**Author's Note:**

> for the _rare pairings_ space of [monsta x bingo (winter 2018) - level one (hot)](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/MXbingo). and the completion of said bingo line! ♡

_‘Autumn is delicate like the leaves falling from the trees; the remnants of memories from the spring and summer. And spring is the season of new beginnings, hyung.’_ That was what Im Changkyun told him, over a year ago, with an almost childishly innocent smile on his lips as his eyes glimmered in the sunlight, when Minhyuk came to him in a sudden flood of tears, just two weeks after his boyfriend broke up with him. And in truth, Minhyuk hadn’t seen anything so bright, since he looked at Shin Hoseok, at any instance prior to the day Hoseok held his hands and told him that they couldn’t move on with their relationship anymore, because he couldn’t bear to see either of them hurt.

When Hoseok left him, his world turned grey and cold. He hated the way the skies turned cold and the leaves began to fall, when Hoseok turned his back on their romance and walked away.

Hoseok had been everything that made him smile. They’d known one another since their first year of high school and, in their second year of university, Hoseok made the difficult decision to transfer schools because his family had decided to move overseas. He’d apologized to Minhyuk, profusely, telling him that he wished they could have stayed together, because he truly loved him. But long-distance relationships rang a familiar bell in Hoseok’s mind which only promised broken hearts and broken futures. And he’d hugged him, then, whispering that he couldn’t bear to see either of them being hurt, even if it meant that they needed to give up before they tried.

The ending of a bright, hopeful love shattered Minhyuk’s world. Heartbreak was what they called it, but he couldn’t blame it on Hoseok. He couldn’t blame someone he loved for being too afraid (but, a part of him wanted to ask if their love was real, if Hoseok wasn’t willing to try a little harder for them).

It was Changkyun who told him that Hoseok was too gentle to ever want to hurt anyone. It was Changkyun who reminded him that he knew Hoseok better than anyone, and it was okay to resent him for just a little while (because, it wasn’t in his nature to hold grudges, and he knew Hoseok would never hold one, either).

Changkyun’s hand was comforting, when it placed itself on top of Minhyuk’s. He was gentle, when he promised him that Hoseok really would have tried harder for him, if the older man’s past hadn’t drawn such a jaded portrait of long-distance relationships for him. Changkyun was kind enough to be sweet, when he told him that perhaps, Hoseok leaving his side was the sign that there was a lot in store for Minhyuk’s future, because they really weren’t meant to be. He was still kind, when he gently told him that young love rarely lasted.

Changkyun was younger than him—three years—and surely, that was the difference between their experiences; surely, that meant he knew less about the harsher things in life—the things like heartbreak and betrayal. But, even so, Changkyun's gentle words were so comforting to his ears, and they were everything he needed to hear. Somehow, it was the cruel reality he needed to hear, because his heart would have wanted to hold onto Hoseok forever (because while Hoseok was his first everything, it wasn’t perfectly mirrored).

His best friend and trusted ally in trying to get over loving Hoseok with everything he had, Son Hyunwoo, had been at work when Minhyuk was suddenly overwhelmed with all the memories of being with Hoseok, and he’d gone to Changkyun on a whim—on a hope that the younger man would be able to sate his mind and comfort him.

Looking back, it worked.

But, when his heart was heavy with memories and the unwillingness to let go, sitting on Changkyun’s doorstep and looking up at the night sky, he really hadn’t been expecting comfort.

Perhaps, it was because he truly wasn’t searching for comfort, but rather, he was hoping that Changkyun could tell him that Hoseok would come back to him. He was hoping that Changkyun would be right. And if Hoseok really didn’t come back, then he still didn’t want comfort—he would have wanted to give up on romance, entirely.

Changkyun didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear. But, that night, there was something unique in the way Changkyun spoke to him about Hoseok and their past love that dared to start paving a pathway for him to continue to believe in love. Changkyun didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear, but he told him what he _needed_ to hear.

The younger man’s eyes seemed to glimmer with hope, as he took a sip of the hot chocolate and spoke. Their friends always said Changkyun had a comforting voice—deep and kind—but, Minhyuk had to add that there was something so poetic and kind about Changkyun’s words.

 _‘After constant, summertime sunshine, autumn may seem dreary and sad, simply because it’s nothing like summer. And, it might seem like nothing will ever get better, because your world freezes over, just like your heart, come wintertime. But, spring comes again. It always will.’_ Changkyun made heartbreak sound poetic and gently built a small home for hope in Minhyuk’s heart. _‘But, just because spring comes again, as will autumn, your world doesn’t have to always let something go and your winters don’t always need to be cold.’_

If he closed his eyes and thought about it, Minhyuk could hear his words in the back of his mind, as if he’d heard them days ago. It was hard to wrap his head around the idea that it all happened two autumns ago.

It was hard to comprehend the fact that it had been over a year since everything with Hoseok had ended, and that his heart already dared to light a small, ambitious flame of affection in his chest to end the frigid winter, again.

Back then, sitting with Changkyun on his doorstep, at midnight, was comforting.

Now, standing at Changkyun’s doorstep, at three in the afternoon, was nerve-wracking.

Minhyuk’s fingers nervously played with the fabric ribbon wrapped around the bouquet of white asters, taking a deep breath.  _White asters: patience and love._ It suited Changkyun. He could hear Hyunwoo’s voice in the back of his head, urging him to step forward and ring the doorbell, because everything was worth taking a chance ( _“Relax,”_ Hyunwoo told him, grinning, _“You never know if he likes you, too. I mean, I had no idea Hyungwon liked me, too, until I confessed.”_ ).

It was easy for Hyunwoo to urge him, because _his_ current boyfriend was all over him before they got together, and it was just Hyunwoo being Hyunwoo that made him not realized that Chae Hyungwon was head over heels for him. Their situations were completely different. While Minhyuk wasn’t even sure if Changkyun liked him more than a friend, it was always obvious that Hyungwon had the biggest crush on Hyunwoo.

_Some people just had it so easy. Some people got entirely too lucky and really didn’t need to freak out before stepping near the object of their affection._

With Hyunwoo’s help, he’d dressed up and styled his hair, just to drive the five minutes to Changkyun’s house. He’d bought a bouquet of flowers, carefully decorated by the smiley, pink-haired florist at the flower shop with dark blue ribbons to complement the ivory petals of the asters, scattered with baby’s breath.

He’d been confident when he left Hyunwoo’s apartment, but right now, he was standing with the bouquet of flowers in his hands, thinking that it was _too_ romantic and _too_ forward; thinking that he shouldn’t have dressed up so much; thinking that this would all end in a disaster, because he was practically shaking with nerves.

In short: _Hyunwoo’s pep talk was only effective in theory._

Staring at the doorbell beside Changkyun’s front door, Minhyuk took a deep breath, fingers gripping into the wrapping paper of the flowers. He couldn’t bring himself to simply press onto the doorbell and summon Changkyun’s attention to the front door, where he could proceed with confessing his feelings to the younger man.

“Come on,” he whispered to himself, blinking hard. “You can do this. You’ve practiced this.”

Again, he could hear Hyunwoo’s voice in the back of his head.

(“It’s just Changkyun,” Hyunwoo had told him, nodding with a firm smile. “You’ve known him for years. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s literally just Changkyun.” Minhyuk didn’t voice his concern that Hyunwoo _easily_ could say something like that because his heart didn’t race in his chest when he looked at said _‘just Changkyun’_.)

He’d shown up at Changkyun’s house without much notice, before. This was far from something new. It should have been easy. There was nothing new about showing up unannounced in hopes of catching Changkyun at home (and maybe suggest they catch a midnight movie or something). The only thing that was new about this entire thing was the striking fact that he was dressed up, holding flowers in his hands and feelings in his heart.

Swallowing his nerves, Minhyuk quickly reached a hand to the doorbell, pressing it lightly.

There was the faint sound of the bell ringing from behind the door.

And immediately, he wanted to run and hide. The feeling of dread suddenly replaced the nerves in his body, and he suddenly couldn’t think straight, because Changkyun would be in front of him in seconds.

Changkyun would be in front of him, witnessing him standing at his doorstep, dressed in a clean button-down and holding a bouquet of flowers. _He would see him and think of him as ridiculous._

There was no other outcome.

Minhyuk’s mind couldn’t conjure another outcome.

He could hear the footsteps pattering down the stairs from inside the house. Considering the amount of time it would take Changkyun to get to the door, and considering the time it would take for him to run and duck into his car, Changkyun would definitely win the race. _There wasn’t enough time to run and hide._

His heart pounded in his chest. _He couldn’t face the younger man, when he opened the door. There was no way._

As a last minute decision, Minhyuk whirled around and held the flowers to his chest, breath held sharply.

There was the telltale click of a lock, before the door opened behind him.

 _A silence._ He could feel the sudden need to exhale roughly and start breathing normally.

“Minhyuk hyung?” Changkyun’s voice was soft when it called out to him. Minhyuk squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep himself calm as he turned around to flash Changkyun (what he hoped was) a charming smile.

“Changkyun,” he breathed. His hands felt sweaty around the base of the bouquet of flowers.

Changkyun looked surprised to see him, but it seemed pleasant. The younger man leaned against his front door, almost hugging the door as he looked at Minhyuk. The older man’s heart skipped a beat at the sight.

“What’s up?” he asked, smiling. Minhyuk’s head spun. _Either Changkyun was waiting for him to unceremoniously thrust the flowers at him, or Changkyun was blind._ He was willing to bank on the second one, because he was certain no one wanted flowers practically thrown at them.

“I—,” he stopped, inhaling nervously. “I was just dropping by to say hi.”

(He could already hear Hyunwoo sighing in disappointment.)

Changkyun tilted his head, resting it against the door with an amused glimmer in his eyes. “Oh, hi,” he responded, easily. “Were you headed somewhere? You look nice.”

The compliment had his cheeks threatening with the rush of heat and colour. Minhyuk swallowed. ‘ _No, I was just coming here. I got dressed up to see you.’_

“Uh,” he started, dumbly. Fidgeting his fingers around the bouquet of flowers suddenly reminded him of their presence. He pulled them out from behind him, clearing his throat, “Thanks. I— _I got these for you_.”

Changkyun blinked at him, surprised. Minhyuk held his breath, again.

Then, the younger man was moving to hold the door open with his foot, hands leaving the door to take the bouquet of asters from Minhyuk’s hands. His eyes seemed to twinkle, when the afternoon sunlight cast onto his face. _Changkyun really was so pretty,_ Minhyuk thought, in awe, as he found himself distracted with the light kissing each individual lash shielding Changkyun’s deep eyes.

“They’re for me?” he asked, biting back a smile. Minhyuk nervously wiped his sweaty palms on his pants, as soon as Changkyun took the flowers from him, nodding his head. “Did I do something?”

“No,” he replied, “I just... they’re just really pretty... I saw them and thought of you.”

Changkyun looked down at the bouquet, then back up at Minhyuk, “You thought of me, because they’re pretty?”

Turning his head, Minhyuk covered his mouth, nodding his head.

“Yeah,” he admitted, shyly, “I thought of you, because you’re pretty.”

“Me? You mean the flowers, right?”

Minhyuk cleared his throat, “No, I mean you. You’re pretty. The flowers are, too, but... you’re prettier.”

The younger man hesitated for a split second, and it had Minhyuk reeling with regret. “... Thank you.”

Changkyun seemed to bite back a soft laugh, and Minhyuk could feel his face heat up with embarrassment. Hyunwoo must have been lying, when he assured him that he wouldn’t make a fool of himself in front of Changkyun. He certainly felt like an absolutely fool, standing in front of the object of his affection and not having enough gut to actually ask him on a date. Or maybe even ask him for permission to court him.

Changkyun looked so pretty, standing in front of him, with the bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“This is really strange, hyung,” Changkyun started, finger moving to play with the soft petal of one of the asters, peeking out from the neat wrapping paper, “Is something wrong?”

“Is this weird?” he asked, stiffening a little. _If Changkyun thought this was weird, he needed to run. As far as he could._ Minhyuk shifted, straightening up his posture, and tried to conceal the threat of disappointment that was slowly creeping up on him. “What’s weird about it? What do you think is wrong?”

“It’s not _weird._ I wouldn’t call it weird. It’s just a little strange,” Changkyun corrected him, “You’re just usually not this nervous. You look like you’re trying to say something, but you can’t actually do it. You look like you’re about to break down into a nervous sweat on my doorstep.”

 _He wasn’t wrong,_ Minhyuk thought.

The younger man tilted his head, chewing on his lower lip, “Whatever it is, though, do you want to come inside for a bit? Get a glass of water, before you tell me what’s so important that it has you feeling so nervous?”

Changkyun stepped back, making a small pathway for Minhyuk to step inside.

“I have to put these flowers into a vase or something, anyway,” he added.

Changkyun turned his head, and Minhyuk’s instincts forced him to suddenly reach out and grasp onto the younger man’s wrist, in fear that he would leave him alone at the front door—though, in retrospect, that was ridiculous, because Changkyun had already invited him inside.

_“Wait—!”_

The younger man looked at him, eyes moving from Minhyuk, to his wrist and then back up.

“Yes? What is it, hyung?” he asked. A short silence crossed them, their eyes meeting. Minhyuk wanted to smack himself across the face. “Oh, are you in a rush to go somewhere?”

“No, that’s not it.” he stammered. Changkyun turned back to him, not shrugging his hand off of his wrist. He tilted his head at him, watching with curiosity and patience to hear what Minhyuk had to say.

_It was now or never, because if he didn’t act now, he’d never work up the guts to face Changkyun, again._

“I just wanted to thank you for comforting me, that one night a year ago, when I came to you crying,” Minhyuk uttered, speaking quickly through his nerves. “I wanted to say that I’m so grateful for you telling me that my life wasn’t over, because Hoseok left me, and that there could be so much more in store for my future. It’s been an entire year, but I still constantly think about what you said, and every single day, I think about how right you were.

“Yes, everything feels really crappy, when summer ends because autumn is nothing like the warmth of summer. But, it doesn’t always have to be like that. It took me the past year to really figure that out,” he continued. “And it took me another few months of spending time with you to realize that _maybe_ I was ready to finally move on. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I was wondering... I was just wondering if you’d be okay with it, if you were the reason that my winters didn’t feel so cold, anymore.

“And... I was just wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me, sometime,” Minhyuk finally managed to say. He averted his eyes, staring at the ground and resisting the urge to fidget nervously under Changkyun’s gaze.

Changkyun blinked at him, slowly.

“That’s it?” he asked, hesitantly. Minhyuk swallowed. “That’s what had you feeling so nervous?”

“You’re about to make me _really_ have a nervous breakdown, if you don’t answer me, Im Changkyun,” Minhyuk retorted, avoiding Changkyun’s eyes and letting go of his wrist. The older man shoved his hands into his pockets, shifting his stance and putting all of his weight onto his left leg—itching to just run away, now that he’d finally confessed his feelings to the younger man.

Changkyun bit back a smile, eyes twinkling. He turned to bend and carefully place the bouquet of flowers on the floor, inside the house. And then, he was stepping outside and reaching towards Minhyuk.

“I’d be honoured to be the reason your winters don’t feel so cold, anymore,” Changkyun whispered, tugging Minhyuk towards him and wrapping his arms around the older man’s waist; warm and comforting.

Changkyun’s head rested against his chest, and Minhyuk swore that the younger man could hear the way his heart pounded in his chest. Minhyuk could hear the way the speed of his heart picked up, when Changkyun rested against him—blood rushing to his ears and seemingly _so loud_. The older man exhaled softly, still unsure of what to do with his hands, now that Changkyun was embracing him.

(When he needed it the most, suddenly, Hyunwoo’s encouraging voice didn’t play like a broken record in his head.)

“Really?” he managed, stupidly. Changkyun laughed softly, face buried in Minhyuk’s shirt.

The older man hesitantly wrapped his arm around the smaller man’s waist, peering down at him.

“You really are okay with it?” he asked, softly. Changkyun nodded his head, humming his confirmation.

“The date will have to wait until after my finals, though,” Changkyun added, mischievous smile on his lips.

“Yes,” Minhyuk breathed, immediately nodding his head vigorously, a quick movement to assure the smaller man that it wasn’t a problem at all. He almost seemed to ramble, when he spoke, and Changkyun laughed softly at him. “Yes, of course. After your finals. Yes, the date can be after your finals. _For sure._ ”

There was a silence between them for a moment, where the younger man rested his head against his chest with nothing to say. Minhyuk could still feel his heart pounding in his heart, but he couldn’t figure out if it was because of the slow decline of his nerves, the lack of proximity between himself and Changkyun, or maybe relief. Or maybe anything else. Minhyuk couldn’t think straight, when Changkyun _really_ accepted his offer—couldn’t think straight when they were hugging on the younger man’s doorstep.

Overwhelmed with feelings, Minhyuk stared down at the top of Changkyun’s head, fondly, until the younger man looked up at him with a small smile on his lips. Minhyuk’s heart skipped a beat.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in for a bit?” Changkyun asked, peering up at him with sparkling eyes.

Minhyuk swallowed, shaking his head.

“I’ll actually take you up on that offer.”


End file.
